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Apr
18

InspoFab: Corona Getaway!

  • Posted By : J. Carter, Esq./
  • 0 comments /
  • Under : INSPIRATION

No Concerts, No Sports, No Movies, No Trips, No Museums, No Restaurants, No Weddings, No Parties, No Beaches and No Gyms.

We are all stuck inside because of the Corona Virus Pandemic. Just 40 days ago our lives were so normal. The worldwide stay at home orders are leaving some people depressed, scared and frustrated being stuck on the inside with no end in sight. Here is what I did to give myself a break from my home environment while staying safe.

1. Pick the best area of town where you live or travel to your second home or vacation home. For example, I chose Malibu. If you do not have a personal home somewhere else rent a hotel suite or nice Airbnb full of plush amenities.

2. Plan your meals ahead of time. Order from restaurants that deliver through Uber eats, Door Dash etc. Order all your favorite breakfast, lunch and dinner foods. I am a seafood foodie so most of my meals had seafood items like crab rolls, shrimp cocktails and oysters. For breakfast, I also did plenty of fruit, nuts, cheeses with standard items like pancakes and french toast. To top it off I had different types of Mimosas with several juices and in the evening had selection of red and white wines.

3. Plan your staycation activities. Since you are currently at home watching mostly TV and on the computer and on social media all day, stay away from these draining activities and instead choose reinvigorating and relaxing activities. If your staycation home has a pool or jacuzzi, swim during the day and relax in jacuzzi at night. My home was on the beach so I had the benefit of walking along the beach and falling asleep to the waves. I also exercised during the day, read books and listened to music during the day. As a special treat, my nail tech with masks and gloves performed mobile in house services so I had mani and pedi spa day during my stay. In the evening, I chose to unwind some nights to some popular of Oscar movies with popcorn and gave myself facials with sheet masks I purchased from Target and CVS. My staycation partner also convinced me to do my first Tik Tok videos that gave me a chance to act and dance something I hadn’t done in months!

The takeaway is make sure during this time you do not stay at home day after day. Take even if it is just a weekend to change your environment, relax and reset!


Nov
08

InspoFab: Release And Stay Present!

  • Posted By : admin/
  • 0 comments /
  • Under : INSPIRATION

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is mystery, but today is a gift. That’s why it is called present.”

This quote summarizes the power of staying in the present.

Focusing on the past is futile.

Planning for the future is important, but obsessing over it is counterproductive. 

All we have is the present.

So, how do you learn to focus on the present instead of the future?

Well According to Dr. Rajeev Kurapati we have to first understand the nature of the mind.

The basic nature of the mind is to dwell in the past or to worry about the future. Our uneasiness about what’s to come is actually our strategy to prepare for the future – our mind’s ingenious way of ensuring that we’re equipped to survive. Without such readiness, the mind can’t prepare the body to thrive.

~Dr. Rajeev Kurapati

So how does this future-oriented mind know exactly what to prepare for the seemingly unknown? The mind relies on one thing to predict what’s to come: the past. We in short essentially allow the past to shape the future.

Our mind is constantly toggling between these two opposing tendencies: the fear of the unknown or the comfort in the possibility found in hope. How do you get your mind to find a natural resting place between the two?

Mindfulness! (AKA Being Present)

Here are 5 tips from Mind Valley to stay present now:

1. Pay attention to the full experience of walking.

Take a moment to focus on the sensations, the small and large movements you make while walking, how objects seem to move past you, the temperature, the wind, etc.

2.  Pay attention to the full experience of breathing.

The sounds, sensations, smells, etc. Meditations you can find on free Apps like “Calm” and “Insight Timer”.

3. Change up your routine.

Drive a different way to work, reverse the order in which you get ready in the morning, and eat something new for breakfast. Change up your routine anytime you can.

4. Periodically stop and smile.

Become aware of the immediate physiological response in your body when you smile. Smiling can trick your brain into happiness — and boost your health. A smile spurs a powerful chemical reaction in the brain that can make you feel happier. Science has shown that the mere act of smiling can lift your mood, lower stress, boost your immune system and possibly even prolong your life!

5. Let the Rest To Go.

Whatever is not there in that moment let go. Be there, right there, right then. That’s all.


Apr
09

InspoFab: Spring into YES!

  • Posted By : admin/
  • 0 comments /
  • Under : INSPIRATION

Congratulations! You made it to APRIL.  That means you have made it through 1/3 of the year!  But have you been existing up to this point or LIVING?

Spring symbolizes “new life”.  In that vain, here are some tips to breathe new life into all aspects of your life.

  1.  Clean your house.  According to Psychology Today, researchers have found a connection between a clean house and our mental well-being.  A clean house can help you eat better, be more productive, improve sleep and fight illnesses.
  2. Review your resume.  There’s no time like the present to look for the next dream job.  Confused on where to start?  Check out our Resume Review and Resume Kit Design Services to help you stand out to your next employer.
  3.  Get rid of old relationships that are not ADDING to your life.  There’s an old saying that you can do bad by yourself.  Listen to this.  After 25, friendships and romantic relationships should be beyond social.  Your inner circle should be contributing to you mentally, emotionally, financially or professionally.  If someone in your life is not contributing to you in one of these categories chances are they are DRAINING you.  I have another saying.  I am going to the next level in my life and everybody can’t come with me!
  4. Launch that million dollar business idea (FINALLY!). Have you been procrastinating on launching your business?  Well the journey of a thousand miles starts with the first step.  Select our LLC course in our digital store that will teach you how to file your business online alongside a real lawyer! Are you a creative? Check out our blog, podcast and reality show courses here.
  5. Get a new wardrobe.  Put those winter clothes away and get ready for skirts, dresses and open toe shoes!  Legallyfab.com has a limited collection put together for you every month.  Check out the shop!

Nov
12

InspoFab: Set Boundaries and Protect Yourself!

  • Posted By : admin/
  • 2 comments /
  • Under : INSPIRATION

One of the most essential components to creating happy, healthy and fulfilling relationships with friends, family and significant others is to become a master at setting boundaries. Simply put, boundaries are what set the space between where you end and the other person begins.

Unfortunately, it’s a skill that many of us don’t learn, according to psychologist and coach Dana Gionta, Ph.D. We might pick up pointers here and there from experience or through watching others. But for many of us, boundary-building is a relatively new concept and a challenging one. Often if we have had a parent, guardian or other person in our life during childhood who didn’t know how to set boundaries with us then we have to learn how to set boundaries in relationships. We have to learn when it is the proper time to set a boundary and how to find a balance in setting boundaries so they are not too weak or too strong.

Here are basic steps from Dr.Gionta to begin setting boundaries in your relationships:

1. Name your limits.

You can’t set good boundaries if you’re unsure of where you stand. So identify your physical, emotional, mental and spiritual limits, Gionta said. Consider what you can tolerate and accept and what makes you feel uncomfortable or stressed. “Those feelings help us identify what our limits are.”

2. Tune into your feelings.

Gionta has observed two key feelings in others that are red flags or cues that we’re letting go of our boundaries: discomfort and resentment. She suggested thinking of these feelings on a continuum from one to 10. Six to 10 is in the higher zone, she said.

If you’re at the higher end of this continuum, during an interaction or in a situation, Gionta suggested asking yourself, what is causing that? What is it about this interaction, or the person’s expectation that is bothering me?

Resentment usually “comes from being taken advantage of or not appreciated.” It’s often a sign that we’re pushing ourselves either beyond our own limits because we feel guilty (and want to be a good daughter or wife, for instance), or someone else is imposing their expectations, views or values on us, she said.

“When someone acts in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, that’s a cue to us they may be violating or crossing a boundary,” Gionta said.

3. Be direct.

With some people, maintaining healthy boundaries doesn’t require a direct and clear-cut dialogue. Usually, this is the case if people are similar in their communication styles, views, personalities and general approach to life, Gionta said. They’ll “approach each other similarly.”

With others, such as those who have a different personality or cultural background, you’ll need to be more direct about your boundaries. Consider the following example: “one person feels [that] challenging someone’s opinions is a healthy way of communicating,” but to another person this feels disrespectful and tense.

There are other times you might need to be direct. For instance, in a romantic relationship, time can become a boundary issue, Gionta said. Partners might need to talk about how much time they need to maintain their sense of self and how much time to spend together.

4. Give yourself permission.

Fear, guilt and self-doubt are big potential pitfalls, Gionta said. We might fear the other person’s response if we set and enforce our boundaries. We might feel guilty by speaking up or saying no to a family member. Many believe that they should be able to cope with a situation or say yes because they’re a good daughter or son, even though they “feel drained or taken advantage of.” We might wonder if we even deserve to have boundaries in the first place.

Boundaries aren’t just a sign of a healthy relationship; they’re a sign of self-respect. So give yourself the permission to set boundaries and work to preserve them.

5. Practice self-awareness.

Again, boundaries are all about honing in on your feelings and honoring them. If you notice yourself slipping and not sustaining your boundaries, Gionta suggested asking yourself: What’s changed? Consider “What I am doing or [what is] the other person doing?” or “What is the situation eliciting that’s making me resentful or stressed?” Then, mull over your options: “What am I going to do about the situation? What do I have control over?”

6. Consider your past and present.

How you were raised along with your role in your family can become additional obstacles in setting and preserving boundaries. If you held the role of caretaker, you learned to focus on others, letting yourself be drained emotionally or physically, Gionta said. Ignoring your own needs might have become the norm for you.

Also, think about the people you surround yourself with, she said. “Are the relationships reciprocal?” Is there a healthy give and take?

Beyond relationships, your environment might be unhealthy, too. For instance, if your workday is eight hours a day, but your co-workers stay at least 10 to 11, “there’s an implicit expectation to go above and beyond” at work, Gionta said. It can be challenging being the only one or one of a few trying to maintain healthy boundaries, she said. Again, this is where tuning into your feelings and needs and honoring them becomes critical.

7. Make self-care a priority.

Gionta helps her clients make self-care a priority, which also involves giving yourself permission to put yourself first. When we do this, “our need and motivation to set boundaries become stronger,” she said. Self-care also means recognizing the importance of your feelings and honoring them. These feelings serve as “important cues about our wellbeing and about what makes us happy and unhappy.”

Putting yourself first also gives you the “energy, peace of mind and positive outlook to be more present with others and be there” for them.” And “When we’re in a better place, we can be a better wife, mother, husband, co-worker or friend.”

8. Seek support.

If you’re having a hard time with boundaries, “seek some support, whether [that’s a] support group, church, counseling, coaching or good friends.” With friends or family, you can even make “it a priority with each other to practice setting boundaries together [and] hold each other accountable.”

Consider seeking support through resources, too. Gionta likes the following books: The Art of Extreme Self-Care: Transform Your Life One Month at a Time and Boundaries in Marriage (along with several books on boundaries by the same authors).

9. Be assertive.

Of course, we know that it’s not enough to create boundaries; we actually have to follow through. Even though we know intellectually that people aren’t mind readers, we still expect others to know what hurts us, Gionta said. Since they don’t, it’s important to assertively communicate with the other person when they’ve crossed a boundary.

In a respectful way, let the other person know what in particular is bothersome to you and that you can work together to address it, Gionta said.

10. Start small.

Like any new skill, assertively communicating your boundaries takes practice. Gionta suggested starting with a small boundary that isn’t threatening to you, and then incrementally increasing to more challenging boundaries. “Build upon your success, and [at first] try not to take on something that feels overwhelming.”


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